I really, really did. It was my big aspiration. I loved English. I thought I had what it took. I read every waking second. I did what I could to find out what I should do. Then I discovered I was wrong.
I've been thinking about this a lot during the past couple weeks, and I really wanted to write it down. So I figured I may as well make a post out of it (seeing as I owe you guys a good month or so of blogging). Since I'm not really sure what to say and in what order, I'm just follow each sentence of the caption. Here goes...
I really, really did.
Yes. You read it right. Did. Past tense. No longer.
It was my big aspiration.
My plan was to go to college and become a teacher. (Or a librarian. Librarian-ing was also in my thoughts.) But I would write on the side and eventually become a published author.* I had this part all planned out. Some girls have their weddings planned out, from the man to the cake to the dress to their future children. But me? I had my career figured out.
I loved English.
Although this is in past tense, I still do. I definitely love it more now than I used to. Anyway. It seemed like one more reason to become an author. Now that I think about it, it really wasn't the greatest one.
I thought I had what it took.
You know how I said I had it all figured out? Well I wouldn't have admitted this, but I knew I would get a book published. Knew it. The whole teacher/librarian thing was just a cover up. That's how dead set on the whole thing I was. I had no doubt that I would make it.
I read every waking second.
Good thing read can function correctly in past and present tense. I'm actually pretty sure I read more now than I used to....
I did what I could to find out what I should do.
Then I discovered I was wrong.
I realized that I didn't actually want to be an author. I just thought I did. (That, or I unconsciously changed my mind... I'm gunning for the first one.) You probably noticed that nowhere did it say, "I wrote every chance I got," or, "Writing was my favorite thing," or, "Nothing made me happier than when I was writing." Yeah. That's because none of those are true. I did write. But not as much as I would have had I actually wanted to be an author. The day I realized I didn't want to be an author was the day I realized that I'm not a writer. I'm a reader.
*Cliche much?
**Okay, so it's not actually advice. It's more people asking him questions on how he writes. But it's still good.